8 Ways to Help Young Kids Make Friends This Summer

For young children, especially those who have finished their first year in school feeling emotionally and psychologically bruised, summer break can be a really important time to de-stress, rebuild self-esteem, and get some extra nurturing from family. After a week of chill time, some parents might be ready to reflect and ask themselves, “What might make next year better?”

If you are reading this and quickly putting your fingers in your ears, saying “Nah, nah, nah, I can’t hear you,” I totally get it. It is more than okay to take a real break from it all and simply enjoy the time. Feel free to dig your toes in the sand, sip your fruity drink, and turn up the radio! No judgment, no pressure, no guilt.

If you are reading this and thinking summer is a less busy time in which you can focus on what might make the next school year better, then here are some ideas to help your child connect with peers and, hopefully, begin to nurture some friendships that will extend to the classroom.

1. First and foremost, play with your child for a set period of time every day.

It is easiest for kids who struggle with making and keeping friends to develop play skills they need with adults first. Good ideas for encouraging cooperative play include simple activities that require taking turns with high-interest toys, such as racing each other with two ramps and two Hot Wheels, taking turns with one Hot Wheel and a ramp, playing games like Pop-Up Pirate or KerPlunk, or building things together (such as forts).

If your child needs to learn to include others’ ideas in play, you can help by following your child’s lead (that might mean you don’t get to be Moana) but gently expand the play to include some of your ideas too. If your child needs to learn to solve social conflicts without yelling, abandoning, or hitting, you can practice gently changing a rule or taking an extra turn and provide opportunities for your child to learn to find a space to calm down, offer a trade, compromise, or explain the situation.

2. Go to your neighborhood park regularly—preferably around the same time and day.

You are hoping to connect and establish relationships with other age-matched children in your community. Parks provide primarily sensory (sand, water, etc) and physical play that developmentally tends to be easier for young children struggling to connect and play with other kids. The best parks are those that are enclosed, and if not enclosed, not spread out so much that the kids aren’t really close enough to each other to facilitate interaction.

You might have to start an awesome game of lava monster or avengers or whatever with your child to get other kids to notice and want to join in (think Pied Piper). Once momentum has gathered, try to work toward getting another child to take over your role and step out as soon as you can.

Bring awesome toys that will draw other kids to your child. That might mean you bring a parachute, or a beach ball, or a big dump truck, or two big shiny shovels … or a really cute puppy. Whatever it takes! (You can, of course, just borrow the puppy.)

Oh—and good snacks. If all else fails, everyone likes popsicles. Even if it just ends up to be you eating them. So be sure you like the snacks you bring …

3. Go to summer camps that are hosted by local businesses, community centers, or churches.

The strategy here is to find connections that are close to home so that your child can develop friendships that have “roots” in their community. Ideally, camps you choose would have a low staff-to-child ratio and provide activities that hit just the right sensory balance of activity and rest and a good, predictable routine.

4. Consider hiring a babysitter/peer mentor.

Think child labor … I mean, the opportunity to develop responsibility and good work experience. You are preferably looking for a neighborhood child three or four years older than yours. Older children tend to be able to fill in the social gaps of younger kids and provide additional social practice for your child. This is mindful social engagement practice—meaning you will need to do some planning to ensure that your child is learning skills at the level he or she is at.

Try planning out with your child activities that the two of them can do together. To keep the time positive, keep visits short—an hour or so. Encourage making a snack together, some outside time, and some special play time. To make sure your child wants to interact with this person, consider buying or borrowing some special activities that are used only when the mentor comes. Maybe a special Lego kit they do together (older child finds the pieces, your child puts them together) or a craft bin or Shopkins.

5. Try to establish a connection with a child or two who will be in your child’s class in the fall—and then playdate the heck out of them!

Your goal is to help create a friendship with roots. Research indicates that kids who have even one friend who has their back are more protected from bullying because that friend is likely to be physical with your child, and more likely to defend your child.

That willingness to stick your neck out for someone else does happen when special unicorn children just inherently do the right thing for others, even when they don’t know them. Thank God for them! But more often than not, standing up to a bully happens when true friends don’t want their buddy hurt.

Just like adults, kids need fun, positive time with another person that is consistent over time. Otherwise, what we adults call “friends” are really just acquaintances (sorry to tell you, the little boy your child met at McDonald’s playland never to be seen again is not a “friend”). A real friend knows what your child’s room looks like. A real friend knows what your child likes to do—and mostly likes to do the same things.

6. Practice recess basics with your child.

Tag

Start with just you, and then add more people. If your child has difficulty tracking who is “it” when there are multiple people, consider videotaping the game (five minutes should do it). Then, at bedtime or a quiet time, review the video, pausing when a child is tagged. Ask your child who is “it.” You would be surprised how many children leave kindergarten not really sure who is “it” when playing tag.

Physical games

Your child needs to be able to take turns during activities, such as kicking a soccer ball in a net or shooting a basketball. You might also want to practice sabotaging the activity by taking an extra turn or two to enable a conversation about fairness and kids advocating for their own turns. Practice being a good sport by complimenting each other on good shots, good tries, etc.

7. Turn off the Wi-Fi. Unplug this summer.

Seriously. If your young child is experiencing challenges connecting socially, it means that this is an area of struggle. It also means that your child needs extra practice playing and interacting with people. Real people, doing real things in real life.

Many older, socially challenged people describe gaming, texting, and social media as the main way they connect with peers. The pressure to socialize digitally increases with age, which means that when kids are young in this electronic-pushing world, we need to protect the space of real time, dynamic, face-to-face interactions. This learning is sacred to being able to interpret the nuances of communication, such as body language, and to tune in to other people in action. Kids need to able to cope with boredom to create new ideas and to deal with not constantly being stimulated. Your teachers will thank you for this in September!

Don’t worry; I don’t believe that any of us are now able to escape the digital landscape as we get older. Your child will certainly gain those skills, but when kids are young and vulnerable, they need to plug into their families and other kids more than anything else.

8. Strengthen your relationship with your child.

School is not always the easiest place for some of society’s most interesting and needed people. Children build the strength and resilience they need knowing that they have a place at home and people at home who just “get them” and love them for themselves. This means creating an environment where you are free to say yes way more than “NO!”—where your child’s interests are encouraged and praised specifically (i.e. “I love watching you jump on the trampoline. You make it look so fun!” rather than “You are a good human.”)

It also means recognizing when kids are doing their best, that they may have some challenges that other kids don’t, and that they need your patience and compassion even more than other kids. Try to find the good where and when you can—even if on some days, because you are human, you can only muster, “Hey, he breathed in and out consistently all day! That’s something!”

By: Shonna Tuck

Shonna Tuck is a mom of two, and a speech-language pathologist who has been in practice for more than 20 years working with children. She has particular expertise in helping socially vulnerable young children whose communication issues are related to attention disorders, sensory needs, autism, and executive functioning challenges. She is the author of a new book entitled Getting From Me To We: How To Help Young Children Make And Keep Friends. This book was written to help parents and professionals support young kids who are having trouble fitting in their classrooms, with connecting with their classmates and with children outside of school. Contact Shonna at: https://www.facebook.com/ShonnaTuckSLP/.

 

Adapted with permission from www.FriendshipCircle.org/Blog

Five Goals to Work on This Summer with Your Child with Special Needs

“Hi, Greer! Any ideas? What do you guys do in the summer?”

That’s the text a friend sent me. And I understand her concern. Summer is precious, the days are scarce, and we want them to matter. Some of our kids are in Extended School Year programs. But whether or not my own kids have ESY, I like to look at the summer as a time to work on some other goals I have for my them. Here are a few examples, and what I plan to do to get the most out of summertime.

1. Work on life skills.

There may not be time during the school year, but summertime offers a great chance to learn some skills that will help kids become independent. I like teaching my kids to make a simple meal—with my help, of course. It’s amazing how proud a child feels when she sees she’s made her own dinner. Start small: my daughter loves frying eggs in the microwave. There’s a real sense of autonomy kids can get from knowing they can make their own burger and contribute by helping to make a meal for the family.

2. Develop talents.

I know that school requires a lot from my kids, in terms of mental energy and time. But they, like all kids, have other interests and talents that they need the opportunity to develop. I’ve signed one of my sons up for a comedy improv camp. My daughter is begging to go to a cooking class. Whatever my children expresses an interest in, I try to acknowledge that instinct by doing something to help them chase that interest.

3. Volunteer

Okay, maybe I’m the most annoying mother in the world, but when my kids tell me “I’m bored,” I tell them to go find something they can do for someone else. It’s never too early to learn to give back, and kids get to feel competent when they are the one helping someone else. In school, our kids can get the feeling they are in need of so much help; it’s nice to be on the other side of that interaction for a change.

4. Gain work experience.

There is nothing like real work experience to convince kids that it does matter whether or not you get up on time or brush your hair. Temple Grandin, autism advocate and speaker, extols the virtues of real-life work experience as soon as possible, and I agree. It’s not about the money—unpaid internships are a great way for kids to get their foot into a real-world experience. One of my sons helped out in a local pizza shop for a day. Use your connections with people in your world to open up opportunities for your child.

5. Get a head start.

It’s never a bad idea to get a jump on the next school year, but aim low. I like to pick one skill or activity that will help my kids be ready for September. Before the bell rings in June, ask the school to tell you the first book your child will read next year. My son asked me to start a “book club” with him. For another student, taking trips to a new school just to get familiar with the playground or the school garden can ease the transition come September.

Most of all, summer needs to be about fun. I know my kids work awfully hard for ten months … and so do I! So whatever we do to make the summer a learning experience, I also make sure that it involves plenty of family time—even if we are just walking the dog—so that we all have time to learn from each other and make memories together.

By: Greer Gurland

Greer Gurland Esq., a Harvard Law School graduate and a mother of children with special needs, is the author of the 2016 multiple award winning How To Advocate Successfully for Your Child: What Every Parent Should Know About Special Education Law, available in English and Spanish. 

Adapted with permission from FriendshipCircle.org/Blog

Happy Father’s Day to a Special Needs Dad

My husband doesn’t want me or the kids to acknowledge Father’s Day – because he’s a father every day.

My husband doesn’t want me to announce that he works straight through breakfast and lunch without eating on most weekdays, comes home exhausted after a day of technical meetings, and then plays with our children and reads them stories until bedtime.

My husband doesn’t want anyone to know about his anxiety over our disabled son’s long-term care and quality of life.  He won’t admit to anyone except myself that he stays up late researching financial decisions, and that he lies awake in bed with his pulse racing over these decisions.  His anxiety is the reason he works so hard all day.

But he did smile the time I told a family friend that my husband is the only reason we are able to do so much for our son: finding the right educational and recreational opportunities, getting extra therapy outside school, creating an enriched sensory environment at home, introducing him to new experiences in the world.

My husband was indignant when I suggested that the Kinect was really for him and not for the kids.  He had learned about therapeutic uses for that type of video game system, and wanted to see how it worked for our son.  I apologized.

My husband doesn’t talk about the heartache of knowing that certain family members won’t visit us and that we are unwelcome in a certain family member’s home because of our older son’s special needs.

My husband often talks to his manager at work about taking time off to attend school meetings and to stay home with the kids so that I can go to doctor’s appointments.

My husband hates it when I tell friends that he becomes so consumed in playing with our kids that he forgets to take care of himself – even forgetting to eat or use the restroom.

My husband takes pride in not mowing our lawn for several consecutive weeks because he is too busy playing with the kids.

My husband never admits it when he desperately needs a nap on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

But he does admit that he sees himself sometimes when he looks at our sons’ faces.

My husband doesn’t understand why other parents don’t just drop everything to help their children – after all, he didn’t hesitate to jump at the idea of selling our house to pay for therapy.

My husband always keeps his cool at IEP meetings, so I’m the only person who knows how passionate he is about every detail that is discussed – and the details that are deliberately not discussed.

My husband grudgingly allows me to post pictures of him riding roller coasters with our disabled son on Facebook, but anyone who has ever visited us knows that our home is a shrine to Cedar Point.

My husband did not let a single tear fall on his birthday when I gave him a photo book titled “Boys Only,” filled with all the snapshots ever taken of him with our sons.  He later said that he was overcome by emotion because it was the best gift he had ever received.

My husband is going to be really angry when he reads this.

Maybe you know someone like him.

Happy Father’s Day.

 

By: Karen Wang 

Adapted with permission from www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

How Training of Special Education Teachers Has Changed to Prepare Them for Inclusion

Among the many things required to make inclusion work in today’s schools are teachers who are trained to do it right. Friendship Circle asked Dr. Dusty Columbia Embury and Dr. Laura Clarke, associate professors of special education at Eastern Kentucky University, to answer some questions about how teacher training has changed to accommodate diverse learners in a single classroom. This month, they’ll give some insight into the current state of training; next month, they’ll consider how things could improve.

How has the training of special education teachers changed with the increase of inclusive classrooms?

Dusty: To respond to this, we need a little background. There have been changes that have come about from the outside in. What I mean by that is that the changes that have occurred have really been prompted by legislation. That legislation changed what happened in districts and schools, and as a result of changes happening at the school level, universities needed to make changes in how they prepared teachers to be successful.

When NCLB came out in 2001, there was a much stronger push for students with disabilities to receive instruction in the “core” content areas of literacy, math, science, and social studies. Students with disabilities who might have previously been receiving that instruction from a special education teacher in a resource or self-contained special education classroom were moving to the general education classroom. What we collectively saw was that many general education teachers weren’t prepared to teach a class with more diverse learners, and many special education teachers didn’t always have the content knowledge needed to teach to the level of their general education counterparts.

Special education teachers now need to be “highly qualified” in a content area in order to teach a resource or self-contained content area class. With this in mind, some universities, like the one where Laura and I teach, offer dual-certification programs that allow prospective teachers to get certified in both general education and special education. That way, regardless of what setting they teach in, they will be prepared to teach all students.

The other change that can be directly linked to NCLB is how we include students with disabilities in the general education classroom. The most common method for inclusion is co-teaching between a general educator and a special educator. Because of the emphasis on co-teaching in P-12 classrooms, university programs are introducing co-teaching as a part of their curriculum. In our program, our special education teaching students learn about co-teaching in their methods course, where they have the opportunity to write co-taught lessons and even practice co-teaching with their classmates.

Of course, co-teaching takes practice to master, and many university students don’t get the chance to really dive into co-teaching until they are hired by a district. However, they are at least learning about it while in their teacher preparation programs. In fact, some universities and state departments of education are having student teachers engage in apprentice teaching, using the strategies of co-teaching with their cooperating teachers during student teaching placements, to help prepare them further for this practice. Other universities offer opportunities to learn more about how to co-teach in summer institutes or collaborate with community partners to introduce co-teaching to practicing teachers.

Laura: Our focus today, in training both general education and special education teachers, is on the requirement to use “evidence-based practices” (EBP) in instruction, so a lot of our focus has been on defining EBP and helping everyone (teachers, administrators, and families) understand what EBPs are and how they should be used to provide instruction in the classroom.

We’re also trying to address Response to Intervention (RTI). In the past (prior to our focus on inclusion), we used a “wait to fail” model where everyone would wring their hands and complain about how far behind a student was until he or she was so far behind as to require intensive intervention outside of the general education classroom. Today, using the RTI model, we assess all students and immediately begin to intervene with research-based strategies to support learners in their areas of deficit. This includes continual support and assessment to gauge progress.

Only when progress is not being made do we consider a referral to special education and more intensive supports and interventions. This RTI focus helps support all students—including those with disabilities—learning in inclusive classrooms.

Do general education teachers also get training for co-teaching in an inclusive classroom?

Laura: Some states are doing a better job at providing pre-service general education teachers with training in co-teaching. In Kentucky, all teachers are trained in the models of co-teaching and are encouraged to use co-teaching as one of the research-based practices that should be used to increase both student engagement and student achievement. At the university level, different programs have different practices. Where we teach, we’ve introduced co-teaching to general education candidates in their differentiated instruction course.

Dusty worked on a grant-funded project that allowed her to spend two years co-teaching middle grades methods courses with general education faculty at one of our regional campuses. It was a rich experience for teachers and students, because the teachers got to practice planning for and then actually co-teaching every day, and the students got to see effective co-teaching modeled.

Where training and practice seems to be catching up is in using the more effective models of co-teaching. By this, we mean that many co-teaching partners are very comfortable using the one teach-one assist and one teach-one observe models of co-teaching, but these models don’t lend themselves to increasing student achievement because they do not increase opportunities for engagement, specific instruction, or feedback. While these strategies for co-teaching certainly have a role, we encourage our students and the practicing teachers we work with to move away from them when possible, because they don’t encourage parity between teachers and can sometimes encourage stigma for the students working with the assisting teacher.

The models of co-teaching that actually increase student engagement (and therefore achievement) are: station teaching, parallel teaching, and alternative teaching. These models have a lower student-to-teacher ratio and allow for more opportunities for teachers to provide direct instruction to a smaller group and for more students to engage directly with the teacher.

Have you seen any resistance to the idea of inclusion—people who want to go into special education to work in self-contained classes or schools, or want to go into general education and not work with kids with disabilities?

Dusty: While many teachers have embraced inclusive classrooms and instruction, there are still teachers—both general education and special education—who prefer for students with disabilities to be educated in separate classes. Sometimes this attitude is one of protecting the students with disabilities and sometimes because it is perceived as being easier for the teachers. Some teachers simply don’t understand the nature of disability or feel that they don’t have the strategies necessary to teach certain populations of students.

We’ve found that with training and practice, teachers feel more empowered and supportive of inclusive instruction. Teachers who have the right training and resources (adapted equipment, technology, or additional people support) are most likely to embrace inclusive instruction and to provide the appropriate instruction using a model such as Universal Design for Learning.

Dr. Dusty Columbia Embury and Dr. Laura Clarke

Dr. Dusty Columbia Embury is an associate professor of special education at Eastern Kentucky University and former special education teacher. Mom to two girls, she’s learned how to be a better special education teacher by participating in IEP meetings as a parent. Dr. Laura Clarke is an associate professor of special education at Eastern Kentucky University and mom to four amazing children. Her experiences as a parent of a teen with a significant disability have shaped her teaching and research.

Adapted with permission from www.FriendshipCircle.org/Blog

Museum Hopping with FCCONNECT

FCConnect is part of Friendship Circle of Montreal. The group, made up of students and young professionals meets once a month to participate in social events with their special needs friends so they too get the chance to experience and explore their city, just like their peers. 

Some past outings included a brewery tour and a pool hall night. Greg Sigler, a medical student and board member of FCConnect says

"FCConnect works to integrate special needs adults with their peers and build relationships that will manifest organically and have a lasting impact on society. "

This month FCConnect and their special needs friends are taking part in Montreal Museums Day.   

Montreal Museums Day, where some of Montreal's best museums are free for the public's enjoyment, is taking place on Sunday, May 28th. More then 30 museums will be open to the public and the city is also providing free shuttle service.

The shuttle bus departure is located near Place-des-Arts Metro's Jeanne-Mance exit, on the edge of Place des Festivals, at the corner of Jeanne-Mance and de Maisonneuve. 

Some of the museums open to the public include Montreal Biodome, McCord Museum, Redpath Natural History Museum, and the Biosphere. We will be starting the day at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts followed by a picnic and we'll end the day at the Montreal Museum for Contemporary Art.

Be sure to follow us along on Sunday, May 28th. We will be posting on Instagram @fcmtl. See you then!

By: Nina Sloma - Communication Intern at Friendship Circle

Celebrating Special Moms!

The bond between mother and child cannot be fully understood until it is felt. It is a bond of overwhelming compassion, of the most nurturing love and the greatest support a child could ever receive. Becoming a mom is the hardest job on earth. It is a life changing experience that doesn’t come with any training manuals or ‘How To’ books. Every child is different, every situation unique and mom’s have to become household CEOs, referees, medicine specialists, best friends and the roles go on and on, all without ever taking a day off or calling in sick.  

Today is a day we celebrate our mothers, all mothers and reflect on the impact their nurturing love and overwhelming compassion has made on our lives.

We have asked moms of special needs kids for some love and advice to share with us. Here is what these wonderful women had to say!

What is the most rewarding aspect of being a mom to a child with special needs?

“I realized so early that my daughter was not going to be me.  That my experience of being the smart kid in the class, was not going to be hers. I didn't know before she was born that what I wanted for my child was to live life without making my mistakes - I think that most parents do this and struggle with letting their kids be themselves, and recognizing them as individuals.  My daughter was an individual from the get-go.  Not only was she not me - she was not any of the kids in the childcare books.  It's allowed me to support her in being her more easily and earlier than I think I would have otherwise”. 

 - Jennifer Gann, daughter Hollis, age 12

“Appreciating every moment. My daughter wakes up and greets every day with a smile... she is a free spirit, a pure soul”

- Louise Roy, daughter Brittany, age 17

“How much they humble you”

- Joan Gottman, son Alex, age 17

“...the rewarding aspect of being a mom to a child with special needs is that I can help others with their awareness.”

- Ericka Tencer, daughter Atara, age 21

What advice would you give a new mom of a child with special needs?

“Don't stop believing. Don't be afraid to break down barriers. Don't be afraid to open doors. Just go for it no matter what”

- Louise Roy, daughter Brittany, age 17

“For any new mom, be flexible, for the new mom of a special kid - follow your kid. Parenting is often about pushing your child to the edge of their capability without tumbling over.  You want to challenge but not frustrate them. Our daughter has over and over again shown us what she's ready to learn at different stages. We don't feel the need to push on something she should know, or we'd like her to know.  We're ready when she's ready.”

- Jennifer Gann, daughter Hollis, age 12

“Be proud and follow your heart”

- Liliane Ouaknine, son Max, age 44

“To take a picture of each doctor or volunteer that works with their child with name, title, dates.  Keep one log with medical, and other issues pertaining to their child, so everything is in one book/folder/binder and not in various folders.”

- Nechama Dahan, daughter Bracha 

“Bring them home, love them, hug them, kiss them, get to know them.  Don't be attached to any expectations of what you know, be attached to the journey that truly is a unique experience for you and your family.  Know that you will be okay.  Know that there is a whole world of support that you may not even know existed.  Know that your child will bring you wisdom and joy.  And again, know you will be okay.”

- Joan Gottman, son Alex, age 17

“Try your hardest to shed your expectations. The words of others may distract you.”

- Ericka Tencer, daughter Atara, age 21

What have you learned about yourself, since becoming a mother?

“That I could juggle more balls than I  ever imagined possible and keep them all from dropping, rolling away and being lost forever.”

- Joan Gottman, son Alex, age 17

“Hah! Prior to motherhood neither I nor anyone who knows me would have called me a patient person. I am now, and it extends (sometimes) beyond my daughter!”

- Jennifer Gann, daughter Hollis, age 12  

“I think that it’s a privilege to have these two precious children. No, I will not deny it. It’s really not easy, but my kids teach me such valuable lessons. My older son teaches me about love for Judaism. My second son teaches me resilience and how to adapt to any situation in a positive way. They both teach me many more important lessons like patience and responsibility to name a few.”

- RR, sons Dovid, age 10 and Yosef Shalom, age 5

“I am stronger than I thought ”

- Liliane Ouaknine, son Max, age 44

“Being a mother is not easy but worth every smile and hug you get from the one or ones who gave you that title!”

- Florence Fried, son Morgan, age 21

What gifts has your special needs child brought into your life?

“My child faces the world with joy and wonder. He is empathetic to all people, regardless of ability, class, age, race, attitude etc. He enjoys and will participate in anything. He is never attached to the result of “success” but rather always enjoys the ride”

- Joan Gottman, son Alex, age 17

“She helped give me awareness and capability.”

- Ericka Tencer, daughter Atara, age 21

“Patience. The understanding that life is fragile and precious and should not be taken for granted. Difference – we are all different and that is good.”- Florence Fried, son Morgan, age 21

“Acceptance. Tolerance. Understanding”

- Louise Roy, daughter Brittany, age 17

How will you be celebrating this Mother's Day?

“...I do know that somebody else in my home will make the coffee that morning”

- Joan Gottman, son Alex, age 17

“Don't know - it's a surprise. My daughter is a real conservative about holiday celebrations, so i suspect it will involve flowers and breakfast in bed.” - Jennifer Gann, daughter Hollis, age 12

“with my mother with all her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren”

- Liliane Ouaknine, son Max, age 44

-Friendship Circle wishes all our moms, a very Happy Mother’s Day-

By: Nina Sloma, Media Intern at Friendship Circle

Our top special needs stories from April 2017

There are so many great stories and resources online that it's easy to miss some great ones. Here's a look back  to help you catch things you missed, find things you meant to look at, and share the whole batch with others who need some information and inspiration.

1. How Apple Is Honoring World Autism Acceptance Day & Month

From The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism: "Explore our updated Autism Acceptance collection on the App Store, as well as iBooks and podcasts, including some great AAC apps like Proloquo2Go which help non-verbal children and adults communicate." http://bit.ly/2nSo1wh

 

2. Why Barbie has no friends with disabilities, but needs some

From Love That Max: "Barbie has friends of different races and, as of November 2016, a plus-size pal. But Barbie has no BFFs with disabilities. That's not just sad, it's a disservice to children of all abilities." http://bit.ly/2pyvek1

 

3. The Rebbe’s Approach To Individuals With Special Needs

http://bit.ly/2oYZZg9

 

4. After an Autism Diagnosis: 13 Necessary Next Steps For Parents

From The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism: A parent shares what she wishes she'd known when her son was first diagnosed http://bit.ly/2qlJDmD

 

5. When getting out is twice as hard 

It's important to get our kids out and using public services so the public knows those services are needed. But that doesn't mean it's easy. http://bit.ly/2pPQTHM

 

6. Woman with Down syndrome to compete in Miss Minnesota USA pageant

From Star Tribune: "Pageant directors say they saw more of Holmgren's talents, goals and self-confidence than they saw of her disability. They accepted her application without hesitation."

http://strib.mn/2pU1ZLg

 

 

Adapted with permission from www.FriendshipCircle.org/blog

Friendship Day promoting inclusion

Friendship Circle launched a new initiative Friendship Day, aimed at promoting inclusion and friendship between typical and special needs's students in Montreal. The program achieves it's goal through bringing together classes from typical schools and special schools for interactive exciting activities. 

Too often, typical students have no interaction with peers who have special needs which unfortunately leads them to feel uncomfortable around those with special needs limiting their opportunity to appreciate the uniqueness of those who are different then them.  

Students of Summit School & Selwyn House School visited the Friendship Circle to participate in Friendship Day. The program focuses on discovering how much we all have in common as well as embracing and appreciating each student's uniqueness and differences.  Participants enjoyed pizza making, creating art with the friendship circle's talented art instructors, and activities promoting team building. 

Breaking "Down's" Barriers

Some would say that the best friendships often bloom in the least expected places. This is exactly the story of Brittany and Lauriane, friends who now share more similarities than differences, but things weren’t always easy.

Lauriane is not one to sit aside when it comes to giving back. What started out as a compulsory program in high school became her own initiative to always look for new ways to give back to her community. Lauriane often participated in volunteer programs through her work but when she joined the Friendship Circle of Montreal it became a real game changer for her.

Each volunteer at the Friendship Circle gets partnered up with a special needs buddy for different activities like drama, music and even karate. Lauriane was a new face at Friendship Circle and worried if she would have a hard time fitting in. She wondered if the students would welcome an unfamiliar face and how long it would take before she was considered part of the team. While these are hesitations we have all experienced at one time or another, they can be especially heightened when meeting someone with special needs because it can be unfamiliar.

When in doubt, add sparkles!

When Lauriane was partnered with Brittany, a trendy 18 year old who happens to have Down Syndrome, she was a little bit nervous. Lauriane did not know what to expect and wondered if Brittany would feel comfortable because she was a new face in the program. They met on a Monday, during the art and yoga program. Lauriane had never met anyone with Down Syndrome much less hung out with them or made art together and especially never bonded over the Downward dog before.

When the girls first sat down together to make some art, Brittany did not seem that responsive. Lauriane tried to chat her up but Brittany was concentrating on her art and seemed too shy to answer.  Brittany loves her art projects and concentration is a must, so finding a way for the friends to bond was probably the most challenging part for them.

It was Brittany who broke the ice when she started pointing out the similarities between them. Both Lauriane and Brittany wear trendy glasses, have long brown hair, share the same taste in clothes and love to get their nails done. Lauriane says that Brittany pays attention to the smallest details, and will notice the funniest things. One day Lauriane had her nails painted a neutral colour, a change from her usual sparkly colours. Brittany noticed Lauriane was missing sparkles so she took some glue, glitter and added sparkles to her nails and fixed the problem.

Lauriane and Brittany have become great friends and hang out together outside the Friendship Circle too. The girls will make plans to grab a bite to eat, catch up and of course go and get their nails done together. Lauriane says she doesn’t feel like she’s volunteering. She sees Friendship Circle as a place she goes to hang out and have fun with her friend Brittany.

Friendship Circle offers programs and organizes events for anyone with special needs, regardless of age. Lauriane finds working with individuals with special needs really rewarding. She thought she could contribute and give back to her community, but it has given her so much in return. “The Centre is really inclusive. No one judges you there and everyone is your friend. The happiness is really contagious.” says Lauriane.

Lauriane often posts pictures and videos of her time at Friendship Circle. This has caught the attention of her other girlfriends, who see how much fun she is having and ask if they too can get involved. Lauriane says she is lucky to have met Brittany but knows that all the kids at the centre, are so welcoming, smart and creative.

There are many misconceptions surrounding individuals with special needs. Lauriane says that to some people it may sound like it must be really sad to be around those with special needs but it is actually the most rewarding part of her day. Knowing that she will see Brittany at the end of her day makes going into work on Monday’s that much more bearable for Lauriane. Friendship Circle is her happy place.

Lauriane said that hanging out with Brittany has made her realize we are much more alike than we are different. It is important to break down old ideas and perceptions we may hold about others. We may look different on the outside and come from different backgrounds but when we are together the difference is hard to recognize. We laugh at the same jokes, we like and dance to the same music, we all have the same desire to be accepted and have friends who like us.

By: Nina Sloma 

4 Ways to Help Your Child with Special Needs Share About the Day

Those of us who are parents are all too familiar with this scenario:  Upon picking up your child from school or camp you ask excitedly, “What did you do today?”  Your child responds with an unenthusiastic, “I don’t know.”

It may not be that your child does not want to share or did not have a good day, but that he does not know how to share.  The problem is with that open-ended question; it is not specific enough and has too many possible answers.  To get more information and fewer shoulder shrugs, try this proven strategy.

1. Talk to the Teacher in Advance

Speak to the teacher or counselor and get the day’s schedule. Pick one to three activities or people you plan to ask about.

2. Ask the Questions before the Day Starts

At drop-off time, prepare or “pre-teach” your child by telling him the question(s) you will be asking when you pick him up at the end of the day.

3. Know the Answers in Advance

Speak to the teacher or counselor to get the answers to your questions prior to asking your child.  It is difficult to determine the accuracy of your child’s responses if, for example, you do not know the name of the friend or the type of activity you plan to ask about.  Also, the teacher/counselor can act as a facilitator in recalling and retaining information, by reminding your child about another student’s name or about the sequence of events throughout the day.

4. Start the Conversation While Everything is Still “Fresh”

As soon as you have your child in the car, away from the distraction of others and while the information is fresh in his mind, ask him your question(s):

• “What is your new friend’s name?”
• “Who was your partner during reading/game today?”
• “What did you eat at snack time?”

Try asking the same questions every day for the next several days.  Eventually, you can ask different questions or fade away the pre-teaching step at the beginning of the day.  As time goes on, your child will begin to anticipate these questions at pick-up time.

You may find that it becomes easier for your child to share the details of the day, given less reminders and facilitation for recall.  You may also discover that your child begins to offer up information that was not predetermined or rehearsed.  At the very least, it will help to add a little more chatter to your ride-home routine.

By: Jennifer Hill

Adapted with permission from www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

10 Ways to Survive Winter Blahs with Your Child Who Has Autism

It’s that time of year again. Winter is on its way out some days, and other days we are hit with the cold and white and don’t know how to get around it. If it’s challenging for us parents, think of our children with autism who have more challenges with sensory issues, noise, and temperature changes in some cases. Often times we are overwhelmed ourselves and wonder, what are good activities that can help our children regulate as well as have fun? With Spring Break right around the corner, if we are stuck in town for the week and the weather is iffy, it’s always a good idea to have some ideas of how to keep our special needs kiddos busy. Here are 10 ways to survive the Winter Blahs with Your Child Who Has Autism:

1. Snow games

If your child is tired of sledding, building snow men and snow angels, there are always things like making snow forts, playing hide and seek behind snow banks, snow shoeing or hiking. Getting them some fresh air when it is mild is good, plus these activities are a change from the usual ones.

2. Outdoor Skating

If they can’t handle the noise of an indoor rink and the weather conditions are good, they can go skating with you outside. You’ll have to bring your own walker though, as outdoor rinks don’t provide them for kids. They can also hold your hand. 

3. Building an indoor fort at home

This uses simple things like blankets, pillows and other common household things. You can have them turn the fort into a tent, roast marshmallows and make popcorn. If they are older and enjoy cooking/baking, kids can help with this. It’s a great way to spend a morning or an afternoon.

4.  WI Games

I know. Most of our kids play too many video games or spend too much time on the computer. But after they’ve had a chance to burn off energy sledding, skating, or playing in the snow and have had a snack and rest, this is a great way to keep them moving. They get to practice fine motor skills (manipulating joystick), and gross motor with movement. This is also done in teams, so social skill practicing can be done.

5. Simple board games that are developmentally appropriate

Board games will only work if parents find the ones that are DEVELOPMENTALLY appropriate for their child. Remember, age wise our kids may be a little behind their peers intellectually or socially. You know your child best so make the decision based on their likes and dislikes and skill level. Games that are always hits: “Snakes and Ladders,” match games, “Hungry Hippos,” “Candyland,” and “Connect 4.” These would be good choices for the younger set. “Operation,” “Monopoly,” “Perfection,” and “Guess Who,” would be good choices for the older set.

6. Swinging on indoor swing

These are great activities to keep special needs kids busy, meet their sensory needs, AND have fun. An indoor swing can be an expensive purchase, but it is well worth it if you have a child who needs the vestibular movement. It is also possible to make a swing and put it up in your basement. As long as you make sure the ceiling is reinforced for it, no problems.

7. Indoor trampoline

An indoor trampoline is also something good to have for kids with need to jump. It helps stabilize them and meet their sensory needs. It is also great exercise

8. Blanket Swing

And, for very little ones who don’t weigh too much, a great game is the blanket swinging game. The child lies in the middle and a parent takes either end gently swinging them. This not only meets sensory needs for rocking and squeezing, but parents can practice language and social skills by prompting the child with “Up” and “Down” and then doing the motion after child says it. If non-verbal, the parents can model the word and any time child makes a noise, reward them by doing the motion.

9. I Spy With My Little Eye

 This is a great game to play at home or when you are inside somewhere else. It is helpful if the child is verbal and/or has some language, but you can try to adapt a version of it with pictures where you try to get them to see what you are describing, and make it a kind of charades. Charades would be a good game to do with the older set.

10. Movie and Popcorn at home

 If a parent chooses an age appropriate movie and makes some popcorn or fruit, watching a movie with your child can be a great way to work on sitting skills, listening, both expressive and receptive skills. After the movie is over, parents can talk with kids about their favorite part of the movie.

So there are 10 simple things parents can do over the winter time and even on Spring Break to keep the kids busy. Remember, you know your child best, so use your parenting gut to adapt and have fun with these everyday types of activities. Here’s to a happy rest of the winter!

 By:  Joanne Giacomini

Joanne is a writer, editor, speaker, parent coach, and the mother of a  little boy, Michael, who just happens to have autism. Her personal blog,“Exceptional Mom/Exceptional Child” chronicles their  adventures!  

5 Ways Inclusive Classrooms Are Different from Self-Contained Classrooms

Are you the parent of a student with disabilities in the public school system? If so, it’s likely that your child is educated in either a self-contained or an inclusive setting. It’s important to know the difference between self-contained classrooms and inclusive classrooms, and why it matters. Families can help schools identify which educational setting works best for their child. They can also expect schools to provide the most appropriate education possible.

Self-Contained Classrooms

Self-contained classrooms were established decades ago when students with disabilities were first placed in the public school system. Prior to self-contained classrooms, most children with disabilities were educated in separate facilities. 

The purpose of the self-contained classroom is to give students with disabilities specialized interventions and support. The class is sometimes smaller in size than a general education class, with a lead teacher and several paraprofessionals who provide assistance. Students spend the majority of their day in the self-contained classroom. While beneficial for some students, self-contained classrooms have limitations that inclusive classrooms do not.

Inclusive Classrooms

Inclusive classrooms educate students with and without disabilities. Studies since the 1970s have proven over and over again that students with disabilities who are taught alongside typically developing students make tremendous gains in all areas of personal growth and development. As such, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (a federal law that governs how people with disabilities are educated in American schools) states that children need to have access to the general education curriculum in the regular classroom to the maximum extent possible.

Benefits of Inclusive Classrooms

Here are five specific ways in which inclusive classrooms are different from self-contained classrooms:

1. Students with disabilities are given the same educational opportunities as their typically developing peers.

This is because they spend the majority of their day in the inclusive class together. Specialty services and supports are brought to the student, curriculum is modified, and accommodations are made for learning. Wherever possible, the student remains with his or her class.

2. Inclusive classrooms give students the opportunity to interact and learn with others who have a wide variety of abilities and backgrounds.

Students learn about one another, develop respect, and gain a deeper understanding of diversity. They are socially prepared for a future beyond school.

3. Inclusive classrooms are hubs of activity.

Teachers use a variety of research-based teaching methods, resources, and learning materials to reach the span of ability levels and learning styles. Group work, discussions, and demonstrations are seen daily in an inclusive class. Students are given a variety of ways to learn and show what they know.

4. Inclusive classrooms create a greater sense of community for all families.

Parents and siblings share common experiences with others. For example, they see one another at assemblies, celebrations, school activities, and fundraisers. As a result, families of children with disabilities become more integrated into school life.

5. Inclusive classrooms provide a rich education with high standards.

Students have the input and support of numerous learning specialists, such as a special education teacher, occupational therapist, counselor, and speech-language pathologist. In addition, they have the benefit of a classroom teacher who is well versed in teaching and learning methods. This collaboration of education professionals ensures that all students have their educational needs met in high quality environments.

Promoting Inclusion

While inclusive education is not a new concept, it is unfortunately not a common one either. Many schools across the U.S. have yet to adopt the inclusion model, favoring self-contained classrooms instead. However, from the examples above, you can see that inclusive classrooms are very beneficial to students with disabilities. This knowledge can help families give input into educational decisions made about their child and advocate for inclusive opportunities.

By: Nicole Eredics

Nicole Eredics is an elementary teacher who has spent over 15 years working in inclusive classrooms. She is also a parent, advocate and education writer. Nicole is creator of the blog The Inclusive Class, where she regularly writes about inclusive education for teachers and parents. She can also be found on Twitter at @Inclusive_Class, Facebook at The Inclusive Class, and Pinterest.

 

Adapted with permission from www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

The What-if Moment

Montreal in mid-winter is no picnic.  In the grip of the latest polar vortex or the latest ice-storm, I can’t even remember what a picnic is. This may explain why I sometimes wonder what if I lived in a more temperate climate; if my Ukrainian and Romanian-born grandparents, who had the sense to flee the pogroms, also had the sense to stowaway in steerage until their ship made it to, I don’t know, Miami Beach. In any case, they didn’t and now I stowaway in my house all winter. Even our dog, furry as she is, would rather hide under the blankets on our bed all winter. Like the dog, I’m resigned to enjoying the great indoors. During the winter months, one of those indoor activities is party-going. When they’re cold, Montrealers are a particularly sociable bunch; even anti-social types like me can’t duck every invitation.

But parties have their own hazards. At a recent get-together, I found myself making small talk with a woman I’d just met. Inevitably, we got around to discussing our children and discovered we both have eighteen-year-olds. She began describing her son’s efforts to find the right university. All the research, all the anticipation. I knew, of course, where the conversation was headed and braced myself.

“What universities are your son looking at?” she asked.

“Jonah is on the autism spectrum,” I said. “He attends a special needs school. He can stay there till he’s 21. University isn’t likely to be in the picture.”

A long silence followed; it seemed long anyway. There wasn’t much for her to say. She hadn’t said anything wrong. If anything, I felt a little bad for her. I’ve come to terms with the fact my son has autism, but that doesn’t mean I’m not brought up short, on occasion – reminded all of a sudden that your life, his life is going to be very different from the lives of other people. Or the one you might have expected. It’s what I call the “what-if-moment” – the moment you can’t help wondering what if your son didn’t have autism. What would his life and yours be like?

Such questions are at the heart of Bad Animals: A Father’s Accidental Education in Autism, the memoir I wrote a few years ago about my family. In some ways, writing the book brought me a small measure of acceptance. I don’t sweat the big stuff anymore. Wondering what it would be like if Jonah were headed for university makes as much sense as wondering what it would be like if I were heading out the door with my surfboard.

Still, the small stuff lingers. It would be nice, for instance, if Jonah and I shared an interest in sports, in particular watching sports on TV. Yes, I wish I could instill in my son my talent for being a couch potato – especially now, at Super Bowl time.

The good news is the “what-if” moments don’t linger as long as they once did. It helps, too, that in the last few years I’ve come up with some trick plays to keep Jonah in front of the big game a little longer. Just before kickoff, for example, I’ll make a super-size bowl of popcorn and place it strategically beside me on the couch. My thinking is: if I can just keep Jonah there until half-time, I figure he’ll want to stay for the half-time show. Jonah and I do share a love of music as well as an uncanny knack for knowing the lyrics to popular songs. When he was a toddler I taught him Beatles and Bob Marley lyrics. More recently, he’s got me singing along with Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga. On a recent Super Bowl Sunday, I got lucky: the half-time performer was, indeed, Bruno Mars. So, even though the popcorn bowl was empty by then, Jonah and I sang along with Mars’s last song – “Just the Way You Are.” This year I’m hoping together we can belt out: “We are all born superstars…. I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way.” In any case, once Lady Gaga is done, I know what I’ll be doing – making a lot more popcorn.

 By Joel Yanofsky

Joel Yanofsky is a Montreal writer. His memoir Bad Animals: A Father’s Accidental Education in Autism won the Mavis Gallant Nonfiction Prize.

The Special Needs Calendar 2017: A Year Of Awareness Events

Every month of the year has awareness events designed to bring attention to diseases and disabilities. Some you may hear about on social media or the blogs you read regularly. Others are less publicized but may be of most interest to you and your family.

We’ve gathered a list of special needs awareness months, weeks, and days into an infographic to keep you informed all year through. Download, print, and stick it up near your family calendar, and share this post with others to help raise awareness for all these worthy causes.

Are you aware of an awareness events we’ve missed? Share it in the comments.

By: Terri Mauro

Terri Mauro is the blog manager for Friendship Circle of Michigan. She was previously the About.com guide to Parenting Special Needs, and is the author of 50 Ways to Support Your Child's Special Education and The Everything Parents Guide to Sensory Processing Disorder. You can read more of her work on her website Mothers With Attitude and listen to her every weekday on the Parenting Roundabout Podcast. Terri has two children with special needs adopted from Russia in 1994.

Adapted with permission from www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

13 New Year's Resolutions Every Special Needs Parent Should Make

Go to the gym, eat healthier, turn off the smartphone at dinner, spend more time with family…It’s that time of year when we take the opportunity to wipe our slate clean by making (and hopefully keeping) New Year’s resolutions.

As parents of kids with special needs, we need to be sure to take some time to focus on ourselves. If we’re not okay, our kids will suffer. It’s so common to put their needs first that we often neglect our own.

Sound familiar? Probably so, but for parents of children with special needs, there are a few exceptions, so I’ve included some variations on this list.

1. Cultivate new caregivers/backup babysitters

Our babysitter has been with us for years, and I’m dreading the day she graduates and gets a “real job.” I hope she doesn’t use me as a reference because I am afraid I might selfishly sabotage her future employment prospects.

No, I’m not really that mean; but if she were to get a job tomorrow, I’d be up that proverbial creek without a paddle. She is going to be hard to replace, and with no current prospects, I keep telling myself it’s time to start looking and try out other sitters so that when graduation day comes, we aren’t scrambling.

2. Organize your paperwork

My home office is filled with my son Evan’s paperwork. This includes eight years of medical records, Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) and behavior plans. There are articles about various autism therapies, sensory diets and other written information. Some files are organized, but most of the paperwork I’ve tossed into drawers with the intent of organizing it one day.

If you’re already organized, it might be fun to look through some of your files and see what’s changed over the years. Re-reading old paperwork is sure to bring back some memories.

Here’s a typical kid variation: If your child doesn’t have a paper trail as long as the Appalachian Trail, you can organize old photos or videos. How many are on your phone – unorganized and not backed up?

3. Try a new activity

Our kids tend to get stuck in ruts with activities, either because they are reluctant to try new ones or because we feel we just don’t have time. If you can, find a way to try something new, commit to doing it several times and then reevaluate the schedule.

I’ve always wanted Evan to experience therapeutic horseback riding but found a million excuses why we couldn’t. It’s too far, we don’t have any time and it’s probably too expensive. The thing is we could easily make time; it’s only a little farther than we’re used to driving and we could do it less frequently if cost becomes an issue.

4. Read (or listen to) a book about your child’s condition

When Evan was first diagnosed with autism, it felt like I read every book on the topic. While the drawers in my office are overflowing with his paperwork, the bookshelves are filled with books on autism. Ironically, I can’t even remember the last one I read. On my 2016 reading list is Temple Grandin’s newest, “The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults.”

Typical kid variation: Read a book about parenting a tween, strong-willed kid or whatever topic applies to your situation.

5. Read a book that’s not about your child’s condition

Ok, so maybe you’re still in that phase where all you do is read about that one topic. What if you actually – wait for it – picked up a book and read it just for fun?

6. Re-evaluate therapies and/or therapists

Is it time to make a change? It’s hard not to develop a close relationship with your child’s therapists. They are such a huge part of your kid’s life and a valuable resource to you as a parent. Sometimes we get comfortable with a therapist and it’s hard to see beyond that comfort level.

Spend a few weeks reevaluating your child’s therapies and therapists. Beyond the personal connection, it’s hard to know when to end a therapy because progress can be hard to measure and there will always be something to work on. But ask yourself: Would a new therapist have something different to offer? If you took time off during the break, did you notice any changes? What does your therapist think? Ask the therapist to revisit goals to help you make a more informed decision.

7. Do something you think is selfish

I’m willing to bet it’s really not. You don’t have to be a special needs parent to feel guilty about putting you needs first every once in a while. Know when your tank is empty. Some days or weeks are harder than others. Know when you are at your wits’ end and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Ask for help, have a brief pity party, do something you enjoy and then get back to being a parent.

8. Date night

When’s the last time you had one? Even if you can’t get out, plan an at-home date night. Actually, you don’t even have to plan one because here it is: dinner, a bottle of wine, candles and romantic music followed by a movie.

9. Get offline

The internet can be a horrible place for special needs parents, especially if your child is newly diagnosed. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of valuable information out there and fantastic support from other parents in similar situations. But, there is also a lot of misinformation, information overload and loads of negativity. Plus, if nothing else, being online can be a tremendously huge time sucker. Hours can go by, leaving you questioning where the evening went. Just put the device down (after you finish reading this, of course).

10. Get more sleep

Stop rolling your eyes. You really can do it. Going to bed just 15 minutes earlier will get you an hour and 45 minutes more sleep per week. Saying goodnight 20 minutes earlier gets you an extra two-and-a-half hours each week. Turn off the television, shut down the computer, forget the dishes and go to sleep. Grab your kid’s melatonin if you have to. It works.

11. Make or revise your estate plan

Parents never want to think about life for their kids after they die. But guess what? You absolutely have to because it’s something that is absolutely essential for your unique household. We special needs parents have a joke, only it’s not really a joke. We simply can’t die; EVER. With proper planning, at least, you get a say as to who will raise your child and how your assets will be distributed. If you already have a plan in place, when is the last time you looked at it? Does it still match your wishes? Have the laws changed since you made the plan?

12. Find a support group

Everyone needs a group of other parents who “get it.” When my oldest was born, I joined a group of first-time moms. We met regularly to hear speakers talk about pertinent issues. Those speakers were great, but the best part of the group was getting to know other moms who were parenting babies of the same age. We shared our successes and failures, as well as information and advice.

Today, some of my favorite people are the special needs moms I get to see regularly or who are a click away in a private Facebook group. We support each other. We laugh and cry together, and we troubleshoot when one of our kids is having an issue. Having these moms to turn to keeps me sane.

13. Don’t apologize for your special needs kid

You know you’re doing the best you can, and your child is doing their best, too. Most of the time you’ll find that no apology is necessary.

Here’s to 2016 bringing the best to you and your family. And, may your resolutions last beyond the end of January.

Happy New Year!

---

Written BY:

Jennifer Lovy

Jennifer Lovy is a freelance writer, part-time accounting manager, recovering attorney, and perpetual advocate for her three children, particularly her son with autism. She shares daily life with Evan on her own blog SpecialEv.com.

ADAPTED WITH PERMISSION FROM WWW.FRIENDSHIPCIRCLE.COM/BLOG

8 Sensory Suggestions for the Holidays & Winter Season

The holidays are a difficult time for children with sensory processing issues. The usual structured schedule at school and home is disrupted with holiday parties, shortened days and many changes in routine. Many children need a regular diet of sensory input to help them to adapt to these changes. With the winter weather fast approaching, a quick visit to the local park is not always an option to provide sensory input.

Below are some suggestions for other ways to provide sensory input during the long winter months.

Indoor:

Obstacle Course

Build an obstacle course out of couch cushions, pillows and blankets. Encourage your child to climb over and under to reach a goal, complete a puzzle or find hidden objects. This encourages motor planning, postural stability and fine and gross motor skills.

Therapy/Yoga Ball

A therapy or yoga ball is a great piece of equipment to have at home. Have your child lie on their stomach over the ball, bearing weight on their hands while completing a puzzle or playing a game. This promotes stability in the upper extremities, and improves fine motor control. Bouncing on the ball provides movement and activates core muscles. “Steamrolling” your child with the ball encourages body awareness and helps to lower an elevated arousal level.

Chair Activities

A rocking chair or computer chair can be used to provide vestibular input. Use a rocking chair for calming, linear input and a computer chair for alerting rotary (spinning) input. When providing rotary input, be careful not to overdo it. Spin your child 10 times to the right, wait a minute and then spin 10 times to the left. If your child seems too dizzy (i.e. pale, nauseous) have them jump in place, blow a horn or eat something sour.

Outdoor:

Sledding

Pulling your child on a sled provides movement as well as works on core stability if the child is sitting. Have your child pull you on the sled as well. This is an excellent source of “heavy work”!

Snowmen

Build a snowman. This provides heavy work rolling the large snow balls for the body. It also works on body awareness. Add as many body parts as possible, asking your child to identify where the eyes, ears, etc. should be placed.

Snow Drifts

Building up snow drifts and crashing into them are great sources of proprioceptive input.

Snow Angels

Making snow angels works on both bilateral coordination and motor planning. When they are done, they can see the results of their hard work!

Snowball Target Practice

Making snowballs works on fine motor skills. Have your child toss the snowballs at a target such as a tree to work on some throwing and ball skills.

These are a few examples of simple, fun ways to implement sensory input into your day. Try to do something every day if possible. Providing a daily diet of sensory input can help your child to maintain that “just right” state through the bustle of the holidays. It can also help to liven up the long, dreary, winter days. Use these strategies to have a fun and successful holiday season.

About Amy
Amy Hengstebeck received her Bachelor’s Degree in Occupational Therapy from Wayne State University. She has experience in pediatrics in the clinic and hospital setting. She joined the staff of the Kaufman Children’s Center in December 2006.

Amy has advanced training in Therapeutic Listening® and Samonas Sound Therapy. She is also trained in Bal-A-Vis-X, Kinesio® Taping, and American Sign Language. Amy has studied sensory integration, motor planning, and neuro-developmental treatment of the young child and baby, and also trained in oral-motor therapy, specifically Talk Tools®.

Adapted with permission from  www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

An open letter from a very special friend

Feeling gratitude and never expressing it is like wrapping a present and never giving it. So in this letter I'd like to let Friendship Circle know how much gratitude I have towards them by thanking you for all that Friendship Circle has given me. I may have a lot of up's and down's, and specifically downs because when I was born I did not have epilepsy (it only started when I was in grade four) and it made things for difficult for me. But ever since friendship circle has become a part of my life, it gave me so much to look forward to and now my life is worth living even with all my downs because I know that with friendship circle by my side I can fight my days that are difficult. Especially with friendship circle being my light to guide me. The next thing I want to thank you for, is having faith in me. That's something else that keeps me going everyday and every night. It also helps me have faith in myself. I also want to thank you for always being there for me and giving me enough strength to boost my ego.

"Thank you for showing me love and accepting me the way I am and for giving me the opportunity to shine by being able to do things that I thought I can never achieve because I am different. "

You showed me that I can do so much more with my life. Thank you for all the activities you have planned for us and our parents. Thank for the most awesomest things that you do and for being kind to me and for all the things that FC does. I have my days that are ok and some that aren't, but when I think of FC my second home my day is better then ok or good. There's no words that can explain my happiness and joy. I want to end off by saying THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! 

By Esther Ohayon

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Second Annual Retreat for Special Moms

The Friendship Circle held it's Second annual Shabbat Retreat & Spa for special moms on Dec 9-11. The retreat took place at Tremblant Manor a luxurious villa just steps away from the Mount Tremblant village. .

The purpose of the Shabbat at the Spa weekend is for women to escape the stress of daily life and regenerate their minds, bodies and spirits to align themselves once again and return to their families with batteries recharged and a renewed positive outlook on the future. Without this kind of escape, the struggles of daily family life can wear mothers down, which can weaken the family unit.

“Moms come from all different walks of life, ages of children, kids with different types of challenges, but there’s an end of the line bond that they all share in that no matter where they come from that they share something so uncommon that they understand each other’s plight. The moms in this group just ‘get it’ whereas the rest of the community may not.”  

Guest Speaker
The guest speaker, Goldie Plotkin, is a co-founder of Chabad Center in Markham, Ontario, the director of Torah Tots Pre-School, and also runs a learning program in Toronto called Women and Wisdom. As a mother of eight children (one which has special needs), Plotkin offers a unique skill set and experience to the Friendship Circle mothers that attended the weekend getaway.

The Weekend Rundown
Friday afternnon women were greeted with a gourment lunch each mom was given complimentary spa services with a choice of massage, facial or manicure. The women welcomed shabbat with a traditional candle lighting ceremony followed by a a four-course gourmet dinner focusing on the “power of hope.” The talk deeply inspired the moms with newfound strengths and positivity. Diner was followed by a lively pajama party where delicious cocktails and desserts were served. 
Shabbat morning started off with breakfast in bed followed by a discussion exploring Jewish identity. Focus was given on prayer and mindfulness by exploring prayers for the special needs mom. An engaging panel explored the unique perspectives of several moms on a variety of topics relevant to the special needs family. A beautiful three course Shabbat meal focused on the Power of women and the important role they have in building their home. Moms then explored the snow covered tremblant village followed by a delicious popcorn bar. 

After a farewell to Shabbat ceremony, women enjoyed swimming and appetisers followed by an energising Zumba class. A unique activity of “Paint your pop art” gave the women a chance to paint a self-portrait “pop-art” style. The wonderful evening concluded with a fajita bar and a delicious fondue dessert. 

The weekend offered a great combination of moms connecting with other moms,  networking and an opportunity to relax, get some respite and be pampered. 

Every time moms visited their rooms, there were gifts waiting to be given to them including spa slippers and custom sweaters. 

The end of the weekend culminated Sunday morning with a poolside yoga class followed by a brunch where everyone shared what inspired them over the weekend and how the new relationships developed gave a greater sense of belonging in the special needs community. Many of the moms shared how they gained inspiration from their peer moms just as much as from the incredible speaker! 
 

20 Things Every Parent of a Child with Special Needs Can Be Thankful For

It’s that time of year when we are called to stop worrying about all the things going on in our lives and start being thankful for them. That can be a little tricky when your life feels like a big roller coaster hurtling from one overwhelming stressful situation to another.

Feeling like you don’t have many blessings to count this year? Remember that anything can seem thanks-worthy if you look at it the right way, and see if any of the following can help you build an attitude of gratitude.

Be thankful for …

1. That big developmental leap your kid made. Or that small leap that only you noticed. Or the way that, although there was no leap, there was also no backslide. Or the way the backsliding was really not so significant. Or the way that huge backslide makes room for new gains!

2. All those parenting books you accumulated during the year, which make such nice paperweights and bookends and decorative accents and resolution goals.

3. The know-it-alls you encounter at school and at doctors’ offices, because they give you such good material to rant about on Facebook.

4. IEP meetings, for the exhilarating feeling of relief you get when you’re done with them.

5. People who make rude remarks in restaurants, because they reassure you that however bad your kid’s manners are, some adults are worse.

6. Sleep. If you manage to get any, that’s something to be thankful for.

7. The ability to use your child’s special needs as an excuse to get out of things you don’t want to do in a way that nobody can question. It’s bad, it’s wrong, but still: thankful.

8. The people at school who help and appreciate and enjoy your child.

9. The people at school who help and appreciate you and give you all the good gossip.

10. Shirts that do not show stains. Plaid, you rock! Go paisley!

11. The one food your kid will eat. Better than nothing!

12. All those negative parenting articles on the Internet, for showing you that every parent is getting it wrong, and you have so much company.

13. iPads and smartphones and all those electronic devices you can’t remember how you ever amused your child without.

14. Haters who are gonna hate, for firing up your rockets and launching you into great feats of advocacy.

15. Your child, for keeping you from having all those boring typical parenting worries.

16. Insurance companies, for helping you hone your stellar phone advocacy skills.

17. That throbbing in your temples that lets you know you’re alive.

18. The excellent exercise you get chasing your child around.

19. The education you’ve received from all the research you’ve done into your child’s disabilities, needs, and opportunities. Surely one day there’ll be a life-experience degree for you.

20. Free roller coaster rides, every day. Beat that, Disney!

More to be thankful for

For real, what are you feeling thankful for this year? I’m thankful that my two young adults have at least some sort of job or meaningful work at the moment, and that I never ever have to go to an IEP meeting again. Yippee! Share your reasons for thankfulness in the comments.

Terri Mauro

Terri Mauro is the blog manager for Friendship Circle. She was previously the About.com guide to Parenting Special Needs, and is the author of 50 Ways to Support Your Child's Special Education and The Everything Parents Guide to Sensory Processing Disorder. You can read more of her work on her website Mothers With Attitude and listen to her every weekday on the Parenting Roundabout Podcast. Terri has two children with special needs adopted from Russia in 1994.

Adapted with permission from  www.friendshipcircle.org/blog

5 Ways to Encourage Communication with a Non Verbal Child with Autism

As a speech language pathologist, one of my greatest joys have been communicating and connecting with both children and adults with autism, specifically those who are nonverbal or minimally verbal. I have met countless individuals who are living in a silent world and have been waiting to be opened up so they could communicate and connect with others.

I have met struggling families who felt like they couldn’t connect with their child due to a variety of reasons. I think no one can understand the position of these families or individuals with autism unless you really live it. As a speech language pathologist, I feel lucky to have the skills to help these individuals begin to communicate their basic needs and wants via augmentative and alternative communication.

Today, I would like to share five helpful strategies that I use to help communicate and connect with those diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum that struggle with communication. These strategies can be used with both verbal, minimally verbal and nonverbal children and can be used anytime, whether you are at the dinner table or out in the community.

1. Enter into their world by using motivating people, items, etc. to encourage communication

For many children, food is motivating. For others, it could be specific toy, movie, friend, family member or neighbor.

For example, if your child loves interaction with a specific family member, use this motivating person to encourage communication. If you are using this person to encourage communication, use a variety of visual and auditory strategies (e.g. use a picture of the family member and/or model the name of this individual). Encourage your child to point to the picture of this person or exchange the picture with you to request it. When they are able to point or exchange the picture, the motivating person could come over to the child and give him or her a hug to fulfill the request.

To learn more information about using a picture exchange communication system, check out PECS USA.

2. Label feelings as they occur

For example, if your child is reaching for food in the fridge, label the feeling. For example, say “You are hungry”. The more your child hears the particular feeling with a specific behavior, the better they will be able to understand that feeling.

This strategy needs to be consistent and occur naturally. Modeling a feeling can happen when your child is excited, sad, hurt, happy, etc. For example, as your child expresses their excitement, say “I see you are excited”. If you have a picture of “excited” it can even reinforce the concept more. Learn more about using visuals here.

I have been working for months with a particular individual with this concept and he is now expressing that he is hungry, thirsty, sad, mad, etc via the communication app, Go Talk Now on the iPad. Expressing a feeling can be liberating and be an excellent way to connect.

3. Assume competence

Assuming competence is probably one of the most important things we can do as a parent, caregiver, therapist, teacher, etc. Assuming competence for any child whether they have a disability or not is a form of empowerment.

Assuming that your child CAN do it and WILL do it is powerful. The other concept is speaking to a child with Autism like any other child. Children with or without disabilities pick up very quickly when an adult or another child is speaking to them in a different way. This can be a strategy that can very helpful when telling others how to speak to your child.

4. Model Language and use Aided Language Stimulation

Modeling language is an excellent strategy. Many times a child may not know the specific word or structure of a sentence. For example, if your child wants water at the dinner table and indicates that to you in a way that you will understand, say “I want water.” Giving the model will help improve your child’s receptive and expressive language.

Adding a word such as “please” or in a question form can also provide clues to appropriate ways to ask for a particular item that can improve pragmatic language skills.Aided Language Stimulation (term coined by Carol Goossens) is a technique that can be extremely helpful during a variety of activities to help build language and communication.

5. Use a total communication approach using both unaided and aided communication

What is aided and unaided communication? Aided communication is anything other than your body that you use to communicate. This can be pictures, photographs, words, etc. Many children with autism who are not able to use speech for functional communication often use pictures, photographs, words and/or communication systems to express themselves.

Unaided communication is using your body to communicate (e.g. gestures, facial expressions, sign language, etc.). I often get asked if using pictures for communication is going to take away any gestures or speech that the person is using, and the answer is always no. The best way to communicate is with a total communication approach, which is includes all modes of communication. None of use communicate with just speech. Sometimes a friend or spouse can understand our message with a simple gesture or facial expression. Encourage all modes of communication whether unaided or aided.

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Becca Eisenberg

Becca Eisenberg, MS, CCC-SLP, is a speech-language pathologist, author, instructor, and parent of two young children, who began her blog www.gravitybread.com to create a resource for parents to help make mealtime an enriched learning experience. She discusses the benefits of reading to young children during mealtime, shares recipes with language tips and carryover activities, reviews children’s books for typical children and those with special needs as well as educational apps. She has worked for many years with both children and adults with developmental disabilities in a variety of settings including schools, day habilitation programs, home care and clinics. She can be reached at becca@gravitybread.com.

Adapted with permission from  www.friendshipcircle.org/blog